Friday, January 6, 2012

How many lies does it take?

So im still stuck.. lying. It's tiring. I don't like lying, but she (the mom) doesn't like the truth.. so now what. She hates that I  lie. But she hates when i tell the truth.. she hates everything, so I guess it doesn't matter. Does it?

One day, i'll be free. To do as I see fit, and say as I see fit. There will be no lying, because I won't need to, those who I will surround myself with will know the truth. They know the truth now so.. it's only you... Her... The mother

I mean, things can only get worse from this point .. well worse for this part of my life. In other parts they can only get better.

There's so much going on.. im so scared. Because I want my freedom so bad, and it's looking less and less like I will achieve it. Im trying so hard, I really am.

I want it all to work out. I want to be free to live like I want. I want to be able to love like I want. I want to be able to study, work, film, dance, sing, laugh, act... Like I want.
For myself.. for once..

But for now.. i have to live the lie within the lie.. lying my way through the tunnel.. until it ends..

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