Thursday, March 15, 2012

15 weeks!

It's amazing how fast time goes by when you're counting it.
Not just when you're paying attention, but when you're logging the time increments as they flow by.
I feel like I went from 8 weeks prego to 15 in like 2 days.
Of course I know this to be impossible, it's just that it feels like my life is sped up.
Although in context of a 9 month, 37 week pregnancy 15 is nothing.. so I still sometimes feel like I've gotten nowhere in the pregnancy.
Well, I had the initial midwife visit last week. It wasn't too bad. I wasn't really expecting a magical bonding moment.. in fact it was quite similar to seeing a doc. So I'm quite confident about my midwife experience.
Only downfall was that I was there for about 5 hours in total.
There was a birth the night before so midwives were dropping like flies, overworked and tired many went home. And while I was there another woman was in labor.. however she wasn't progressing so they transferred her to the hospital. She looked tired and emotional. I wanted to go give her a hug, hold her hand, and tell her.. it'll all be worth it. I wished her and the baby the best.
I worry about that sometimes.
That the birth won't be as I planned it. And a complication may arise with either me or the baby. And I'll end up in the hospital, heartbroken. My mom tells me to prepare myself for that. And I know I have to prepare myself for anything. But I don't want to.. I want it to be beautiful. Even if it's not perfect.. I want it to be special. Well I've got time, so we'll see. I can only do the best I can.. and leave it in the hands of God.
But on a upper note, I still feel confident about everything.
The baby is developing normally, and I'm started to feel us connecting. He or she makes me laugh all the time. It just bubbles out of me. I'm not sure yet, but I think my baby likes my laugh..  :}
I see a lot of laughter in the future, and I couldn't ask for anything different.
I can't wait to find out the babies gender.. I'm excited to start imagining a little boy or girl. People always ask me what I want.. and I don't have much of a preference, but I think I want a girl.
We're still on the search for names, but there's been more added to the list.
Girl: Meadow, Autumn, Summer, Willow, Tuesday, Pheonix
Boy: Xavier, Egypt, Cairo... I need more.

so this is getting like super long, so I'll cap it here for now. Stay Tuned!!

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