Thursday, April 26, 2012


This is an old post that for some reason did not post. Its deep, and hurtful, and I remember the pain. It just really makes me think. What is love?

You get used to the pain, used to the hurt. Who knows... It's really tough loving someone, who doesn't love you back.
Does he know? How much it hurts? One second your holding me tight, caressing me with your warmth and the next the energy your producing is pushing me away farther than your body can actually go. Youre so far away.. farther than an earshot, farther than an eye's gleam. Youre so close.. yet so far away. Does he know? How much it hurts? But you get used to it.. the pain. The hurt. You realize that you can't love someone who doesn't love you back.
Is that all im worth? Sex? Because you can't have sex with me you can't be around me?
Does he know?? How much that hurts??
How deep it cuts?
In a world that sees me as a gem, you make me feel like a slut...
You shouldn't love someone.. who doesn't love you back.
Words are NOTHING compared to actions.
Because actions speak louder than words.
They stab louder than hurt.
They're pain can leave scars that never heal.
Youre silence is so loud it hurts.
Eating up my self worth.
Does he know??
You can say a lot by saying nothing at all, and i've just gotten used to it. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.
Does he understand??
Do you get what your actions mean? How much they demean? My body. My. Body. is your symbiote. Is your carnage.
I am nothing. I. Am. Nothing. I mean nothing. I. Am. My body.
My body is not my own. And if it's unavailable to you, i am worthless.
How much that hurts...
Sucking up my self worth
Like damp blood in an empty coffin.
I thought.. maybe just maybe, you'd care about how i feel.
Im worried and scared and confused. And i just want you to be there. To care.
But you want my body. My. Body.
Without that i get no concern, no love. You can't even look me in the eye!
How much it hurts, but i still smile.
It may take a while but i can't love someone who doesn't love me back.
You don't want to be around me.. you don't want me.. im sure you don't like me.. you sure as hell don't love me, you love My. Body. The beginning and end of infinity.
I try to explain to express, i seek your caress with the tenderest of finesse. But with my body gone i no longer exist.
How does it hurt.
But you can't love someone who steals your worth..

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