Tuesday, November 13, 2012

My soul

My soul aches. At the pain i feel. For the love I don't feel.
It's deep this pain. And liquid like blood. Pouring out of my orfices. Pulsing like tears. Heavy. Rough.
It hurts. It's a pain stitches cannot touch.
Reality hurts. Realization hurts. People hurt.
I don't like being hurt. But here I am again.
A foolish being. I was led into the pain. Hand held into the pain. Welcomed into the pain. It was my home, my happiness for only but a moment. Until I realized where I was and the cloudless walls came crashing down.
What a shame. I feel such internal shame.
Failure. Pain. They're so heavy.
Does one ever heal from this?
Am i meant for peace and happiness.
My life is filled with such pain.
It's so hard to keep myself together.
I just want to crawl up in a ball. I want to disappear.
But i have a daughter. Can't i just disappear with her?
I always feel so lonely.
Why does everyone insist on hurting me?
Im overdue for a break.
Im overdue for someone to understand. To care. To stop and think.. maybe she has a heart too. Maybe she's only human. Maybe she crys herself to sleep. Maybe, just maybe i'd be wrong for hurting her so..
Why does everyone hurt me so??

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