Tuesday, December 11, 2012

As things fall apart

As we dawned on our 1 year anniversary it seems that L and i are all but completely over. Im not sure if we fell out of love, because im not even sure we were really in love in the first place. Furthermore, im not sure if either of us know what it is to love someone that way OR how...
We still have Olivia and she's important. And im not one of those women who will keep bitterness in her heart towards her childs father. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have her... So im grateful, and always will be.
I also don't want him to think that im keeping away from her because she primarily lives with me. He'll have her for the weekend. And he can see her whenever he wants, he can take her for visits and whatnot. He'll be legally required to pay child support, but i never had a stich of doubt that he would support either way.
I'll always love him (the only way I know how) and i'll always be there for him, if he ever needs me, no matter what.
But our relationship is bust.
I've grieved over this for weeks, so im more numb than anything else. I'll probably still cry over it though. Just not yet.
Thankfully/hopefully, other logistic things in my life are looking up so i should be on my own in no time.
Maybe then i can form a better cordial bond with L.
For know, i'll have to observe this mess, as things fall apart.

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