Sunday, March 31, 2013

It's official. We're separating...

So again. Like I've been hinting to for so long, L and I will be separating.

Basically it hurts.

I wrote a long post while on the train.. I also thought I published it.. To my surprise its not here... Damn. Well..

Sigh L and I got into an argument the day before yesterday morning. This one really took the cake. He even went as far as saying that I should make sure I kill myself all the way next time because the world would be better off. I haven't heard that since my mom. I think he's ready to move on because he brought up seeing other people again. I have brought that up since I was 3 months prego. He said someone might be interested. Then from there the argument just got worse. A lot worse. Not sure how to put this, but it just got worse. I'm ok no bruises physically except for a few emotional gashes but I think it's best if I make plans to move on.

We spoke again about it tonight. And so I'll be looking for a place once I or both of us get a stable job.

My heart hurts. I can't sleep. My mind is reeling. It's hard between the failure and loneliness it's created this black home in my heart.

I don't get how the fuck it comes so easily for other people. I'm not saying they others don't have their fair share of hurt but it just seems like mine is endless. It seems like ill never know happiness romantically.

Who knows... For now ill just have to settle for being broken.

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