Saturday, March 30, 2013

Things fell apart

Yes, in reference to Chinua Achebes novel. Things fell apart in my life.
To spare myself the pain, and the long drone ill give bullet points of the highlights. Then like I had noted during the time I disappeared when I had Olivia, maybe one day I'll go back and recap in detail. But here's some of what has happened in the time that I've been away and things fell apart.

• I cheated on L
• I cheated on L with S
• L learned of this in an intense conversation after guilt filled sex.
• He was so hurt and upset I couldn't process or handle so many emotions it was
• I cut my wrist...
• I still don't know why, I'm not a fan of physical pain.
• I ended up in a psychiatric ward for 5 days, one of those days being Christmas..
• I missed my daughters first Christmas.
• Learned I was Bipolar
• learned a lot about myself and how my family contributed to my disastrous of a coming up experience.
• I stopped talking to S
• L was there by my side the ENTIRE time... He's a really fucking good man.
• I moved in with him and Olivia after I got out of the hospital.
• While I was still in the hospital L got into an altercation with my mother. She locked Olivia in a room away from him, he kicked in the door, she was behind it. Long story incredibly short. Court issued restraining order insued.
• I still moved in with him... Both of them overreacted.
• My relationship with my family is terse to say the lease... They have never really been looking out for my best interest, but that's another story..
• L and I are struggling to make ends meet. I'm totes broke... But I'm really fucking happy. I don't think I've ever been able to say that.
• Through all of his L and I have found a newfound love and understanding for each other. Doesn't mean that we still don't have shit to straighten.. I really hurt him in a way that no one can, but that's another long story.
• Point is..... IM FREE.

And as things fell apart it revealed a beautiful foundation for me to build my own life around...

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