Thursday, April 25, 2013

I. Feel. Like. I. Am. About. To. Implode.

I. Feel. Like. I. Am. About. To. Implode.

And of course this is not the first time. But for some reason, my life just keeps fucking getting better.

I'm being sarcastic.

It's like every time I turn around something else is waiting around the corner for me. I understand everyone has their hardships, but most people I know get a reprieve.


I'm so stressed out, it's a type if to prolonged stressed out that's never ending.


All these emotions swirling inside of me. No release. It's killing me.

And I have this thing about asking people for help... It's not that I'm to uppity to ask for help, I have 2 main reasons.

1. The times I've broken down and asked for help before, I NEVER received any of any SUBSTANTIALLY. Depending on the person it may not have been that they just didn't help, but they couldn't, and that's completely understandable and I respect that.

2. I'd hate to call up someone I haven't talked to out of the blue because I need their help. It's like "oh, NOW you know me..." I really don't mean it that way, it's just that I don't have much time or the mental capacity to keep up with everyone.

So to me, those sound like very valid reasons. I seriously wonder sometimes if the universe just sees some strength in me that I feel I don't have. I may be stubborn and persistent, but I don't see myself as all that strong. I feel pretty fucking weak right now.

You hear that universe... I FEEL FUCKING WEAK!!

I don't know how much I have left in me.
I'm so damaged. It's so hard...

1 comment:

  1. You can talk to me any time. God is always there for you too. Praying for you.


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