Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I have nothing left in me

If it wasn't for Olivia I'm sure I'd have given up by now. 

Aside from her, lets just say life sucks. 

My relationship is...well... It isn't. 
And this isn't like the last time that I thought L and I were broken up only to find out that we weren't. This shit is for real. 
I don't understand him anymore. 
He's so hateful to me.
He does and says so many hurtful things. And that's not just me being sensitive, that's me being human. 
Then to add insult to injury he forgets that he even does those things. In a matter of seconds. 
It reminds me of my father. 
I can't live like that any longer. 
But I'm void of options. 

I need to move on, but that's an intricate puzzle that I can't quite grasp just yet. 

I feel like giving up. And I'm not one to do  that.. So that just indicates that things have gotten as worse as they could get.. Or not.. Who knows, there's always room for things to go awry. 

I just want some happiness and stability for my daughter and I. 

School has become a complicated figure and my previous dedication to it has been replaced with bitter reluctance. I can't afford school in more ways than one. It's become a hindrance rather than an enjoyment. I no longer take pride in it. 

everything  hurts. 

I don't know how much more I can take. 

I have nothing left in me.