Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Maybe this is and isn't the end

It's been a rough month, week, day... 
There's been betrayal, anger, deaths, anything you can imagine it's here. I've experienced It and I'm fed up. I'm so tired I can't even begin to start a conversation on everything. Let's just focus on the major things:

I think almost 80% of this damn blog is about his ass. Seriously. It's a damn shame that a man can take over so much of me. Never thought it could happen. Anyway long story short were back at odds again. It seems like no matter what I do, it's never enough for him. He's always angry at me in one way or another. I understand his predicament is tough and his male ego is really hurting but he needs to pull it together and start thinking outside of the box. He's so caught up in the "principle" of things that he can't even see opportunities in front of him. He won't get far waiting for the Goddess hersef to take him out of his drowning waters. But there's nothing that say or do that can convince him of that. He's just seems to blame everything else under the sun. He talks big about taking responsibility for his issue, but can't seem to compromise enough to fix it. What kind of shit is that???!!! Anyway, I'm so over it all. I don't even care anymore. He can do what he wants. I need to get my daughter into some type of childcare for the summer and handle my own business because I don't got time or energy to babysit him. 

I'm over it. Whatever happens, happens. 

Over it. 

I need to get my license tho. My test is coming up, but I don't even have my 5 hour!! 

I really need to find her child care. In other news found out she has profound hearing loss in her left ear. Sigh. I. Can't. I just can't. I feel like I'm failing. 

Done. Over it. No further comments. 

Finally good news! I received the recommendation of a lifetime and found out about The New School here in NYC. Went to an info session today and it's everything I ever imagined. I'm going to start my application when I get home. I can create my own major, there's flexible classes both on campus and online, evening and daytime, full time and part time. I'll be able to work one on one with a counselor the whole time. I can get credits for my life experience. Omg I can't even begin to speak about how happy finding this program makes me. I'm over the moon. In a sea of shit that's my life this is my redemption. THIS. This school will be the new start I so desperately need. I can't wait. The advisor wants me to apply for the Fall!! Let's see what happens. Shit it can't get worse then this. 

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