Wednesday, September 7, 2016


I'm going to start writing my novel. For real this time.
ive already got a title and I don't know why this title is lit, but it's lit. Well now that I think about it, this could very well be my book. ......

who knows...

but ive felt like writing recently. Furious typing and editing and melting and sewing together a wonderfully good story.

I recently realized that I haven't been able to write fiction because I've lost the fairy tail in my life. I'm surrounded by reality and its mind crushing. While having sex I was inspired, and that inspiration felt great.
I was inspired by a symphony of words that were the echo of my real experiences. I am thoroughly suprised at my real voice.

I'm so fat I look pregnant. I wouldn't be surprised if I was and my body was just playing cruel tricks on me making me think I wasn't. I've plenty of dreams where that's the case. But I don't think I'm that special. I just think I'm stressed and the stress is manifesting as a ball of fat on my stomach.
I spend a lot of time not hiding it, I'm sure people are wondering. No one has asked, but I wonder how I'll answer if/when they do. Would I say I'm 3 months along? Or just say... Nah I'm fat. I really thought about this and decided to say I've been trying and the vitamins I'm taking have made me really bloated but I'm keeping my fingers crossed... That's a lie, but a good one.

I think I have an affinaty for good lies. They're just enough inside the realm of belivability that they almost don't seem believable. However it would be odd to deny that it couldn't be true. Only my mom and brother and maybe L is fully aware of my ability, so I get away with it most of the time. I don't like to lie really, but telling people my personal business doesn't seem like the best choice either. Lies can sometimes be easier to explain then the complicated truth... Who's got time for that?? I was telling people L and I were engaged waaaayyyyy before we actually were, and now look at us. *kanye shrug*

back to writing...

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